My fiance and I were touring a potential venue for our wedding and were discussing the menu with the event coordinator. I mentioned how much we both loved food and how important it is to both of us to have obscenely good food at our wedding and this was her response “Yikes, that must be hell on your wedding diet.”
Ummm….why are you assuming I’m on a wedding diet? Do I look too fat to get married to you? How dare you assume I’m on a wedding diet!
And that’s the moment I realized I might be crazy because I *am* on a wedding diet.
A Confederacy of Spinsters 
I have the exact same reaction when people assume i’m either single or in a relationship… “Do I look single?!” or “Do I look dependent on a man?”, and then I realize I’m crazy. At least you have the wedding as a viable excuse of your momentary insanity.
I’m totally blaming it on the wedding. I wonder what I’ll blame it on after that….?
Is that your inner Bridezilla coming out?
I really really hope not.
Where’s the part where you bitch-slapped her? You did bitch-slap her, right? RIGHT?!
Nope. I just kept somewhat calm while I screamed in my head.
I think she probably thought you were very successful at your efforts because, considering how much you like food, you obviously *must* be on a diet to look as ravishing as you do. Always assume people mean things they say in the nicest possible way. It makes life so much easier…
I like that! It *will* make my life easier. Thanks!
My response was always “Yes. I am on a diet. The All-Mayonnaise Bride Diet.”