I believe very strongly in women supporting women. Not in everything mind you, I certainly don’t support women serial killers or women puppy kickers, but as an overall and very generalized worldview, I think we as women should stick together. I like to call this “sisterhood solidarity” because I really like alliteration and also it makes it sound like we are all members of a really covert and subversive resistance organization and that’s just kind of neat.
One of the main tenants of sisterhood solidarity is that we don’t disseminate harmful stereotypes and supposed truths about women. I mean, we know it’s some bullshit, so why perpetuate it? I’m talking about things like “Women aren’t good at math”, “All women want to get married”, and “A woman isn’t fulfilling her biological purpose if she doesn’t have kids.” This is some grade-A fresh from the bull type of bullshit. Sure, some women may not be good at math, but I know loads more who absolutely dominate it, and I know dozens of women who are genuinely uninterested in getting married, and I certainly don’t think any of us are biological failures if we can’t or choose not to have children. So hey, let’s stop saying shit like this? Ok?
Pardon my soapbox standing but I feel like it’s crucial we keep reminding each other it’s not ok for us to say things like this and it’s certainly not ok for us to allow things like this to be said to us. To be honest, I didn’t realize we needed to be reminded of this until I overheard this conversation at lunch the other day. A woman was sitting at the table next to mine with three men who were clearly her co-workers and they were having a discussion about dating and relationships; this is that conversation. (Paraphrased obviously because I don’t go around carrying tape recorders so I can record people’s insulting conversations. That would be creepy or at the very least creepy adjacent.)
Woman: You know what they say, “Single for a season or single for a reason.”
Male Co-Worker 1: I don’t even know what that means.
Woman: It means if you know a girl and she has been single for more than six months, there is a reason for it. She’s probably screwed up, crazy, ugly, fat, or all of it.
Male Co-Worker 2: True.
Male Co-Worker 1: Yeah, that seems wrong. I don’t think that’s true at all.
Woman: Trust me, I’m a Woman, it’s true. If they’re not crazy and single they’re probably ugly and single.
(Please note at this point I almost threw-up my delicious tacos because my body was having a physical reaction to her bullshit)
Male Co-Worker 1: That’s a really terrible thing to say.
Woman: Seriously, you take any girl who has been single for more than six months, give her some therapy, get her a gym membership, new clothes, and a facial and she’ll get a boyfriend instantly.
Male Co-Worker 3: Because she will feel better about herself?
Woman: No. Because she will look better to other people.
Male Co-Worker 1: This seems incredibly superficial.
Woman: Women are vain. It just is. And men won’t even give a girl a chance if she doesn’t look hot.
Male Co-Worker 2: That’s true.
Male Co-Worker 1: This is a truly awful conversation.
Male Co-Worker 3: Agreed.
Woman: I’m just telling the truth. People don’t like to hear it anymore but it’s still the truth. All women want to get married and have kids and in order to get that they need to be pretty.
Are you kidding me woman??! Are you fucking kidding me?! I can not believe you are saying things like this and I really can’t believe you’re completely ignoring the man sitting at your table telling you this is insanity. Who are you and why do you hate yourself and other women? Why? Oh my sweet Athena, why?! I just can’t….I don’t even……what the….but….she…and then….women….wrong…..can’t…..blurg. I’m sorry y’all, I might be having a rage-induced stroke. All I can say is, how about a little solidarity in the sisterhood??
Can I get an Amen? Or at least, can you tell me what provokes women to talk about women like this? Because I’m at a loss……