Ignore a Pick-Up Artist, Save a Puppy

4256913449_e09b0c3219_oFriends, there is a plague upon us. It oozes up to you at a bar, telling you that you’re really pretty for a chubby girl and asking if you’ve read Hemingway’s lost grocery list. It encourages the objectification of women, turns love into a game, and wears too much cologne. The pick-up artist movement is still a thing and it’s boring.

Today on Jezebel, yet another misogynistic asscake and his poorly punctuated ramblings—this time on why his precious manseed only goes to deserving women— were highlighted. That’s right, I said highlighted. Jezebel’s intent was to castigate the blogger, of course, but we all know that’s not how the internet works. I’m not linking to his original blog, because every damned URL turns into followers and comments. Attention, of any sort, is the route to book deals and advertising. Y’all, we can’t keep giving our page hits to sad, delusional man children!

It’s important to know the face of your enemy, but pick-up artists aren’t the enemy of feminists. After all, they aren’t actually changing the dating landscape. When was the last time someone tried to “neg” you and it worked, kittens? I had six single years in my twenties, through the height of this supposed movement, and was never successfully picked up by one of these clowns. In order for pick-up artistry to be a threat, it would have to be working. These men think they’ve cracked the code to seducing women, but all they’ve done is find women who probably would’ve slept with them anyway. As one University of Kansas study found, the women in these relationships are just as sexist as the men. Like finds like, disastrous as the results may be.

We have loads of actual foes to deal with, from the continuing wage gap to society’s constant body snarking of women. Pick-up artists are, in the jungle of gender politics, gnats: annoying, harmless, and awfully noisy for their size. Yet, we continue to be scandalized and angered by them. We link to their blogs, angrily talk about their latest books, and give them entirely too much of our damned time. Are they misogynistic jerks? Totally. Are they having a tangible effect on the ways normal, well-adjusted young men and women view dating? Not so much.

A nice, well-informed man probably won’t pick up “The Game,” much less read it and follow its advice. The audience for such things already thinks women are prizes to be won, not equal partners to share in sexy times and adventures. Pick-up artists aren’t looking for love, they’re looking for bed-notches, and as a result they’ve missed the whole damned point of life. We’re here to foster relationships and leave a positive impact on the world, not shag ourselves straight into a syphilitic hallucination. Sex doesn’t last forever, so the small number of men who buy into this bullshit are destined to find themselves disillusioned and alone at the end of it all. Their comeuppance is of their own making, not from admonishments that will fall on deaf ears.

If you want to get rid of pick-up artistry, ignore them. Their game will fail and you’ll have much more time to devote to real issues. We have sexual violence to combat, systemic sexism to eradicate (the actual cause of this supposed trend), and puppies to save. Who has time for another douchebag in a velvet suit? Stomp on his tail, roll your eyes, and sashay off into the sunset with an enlightened manfriend.

– Grace

8 thoughts on “Ignore a Pick-Up Artist, Save a Puppy

  1. I have been alive for more years than I deserve given my total disregard for healthy, wealthy and wise and I really can’t remember using a so called pick up line to engage in conversation. I found your post to be interesting in that this rude behavior must be fairly common or you would not have posted it. I feel for y’all and think your advice is right on.

  2. I absolutely agree! It only works on women whom unfortunately have low self-esteem and are searching and yearning for male attention. Then, when these pick up moves are “successful” and the girls sleep with and fall for the guy, the women are called CRAZY because they end up getting feelings.

  3. Thank you, Grace! I’m starting to think the feminist media is missing the whole damn point, too. By wasting pixels on these pop culture inanities, such as starlets, regular douchebags at the club, and mega corporations that don’t make clothes for fat chicks, they’re just fuelling this crap. I find it demoralizing.
    Remember when feminists put their energy into getting laws passed and raising awareness about important issues rather than on picking apart every little cultural phenomenon and trying to form an opinion on it? I don’t care if some hipster feminist blog writer thinks Kim Kardashian is a subversive symbol of amazonian female power; that’s not why I read the news!!!

  4. So true and interesting at the same damn time. Pick up artists are rife everywhere. I am a university student and I must admit that these type of guys used to appeal to me, thank god that came to an end. I think as a woman you need to be exposed to these kind of guys so that you know better and get to decide what you want for yourself.

  5. if you think you deal with village idiots reading my blog might actually make you feel better about these morons….or give you ammunition for your own writing….either way loads of fun…no pun intended as we both seem to be aimed at the pathetic

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