Don’t Be An Asshole


Here is a rule that I think everyone should abide by all the time: “Don’t be an asshole”.

Simple, no? And yet it seems like every person with an internet connection and the comfort of anonymity feels like they have a right to be an asshole and they make good use of that right by commenting on well-meaning blogs everywhere and BEING AN ASSHOLE.

You disagree with something a blogger has written? So be it. That’s totally cool and hell, I welcome it, but there should be just a shred of human decency in your response. (Unless you’re just a spam bot, in which case, sorry to point out that you’re incapable of human emotion). As bloggers, we don’t expect to be agreed with all the time, we write because we have something to say, and it’s ok if you don’t agree and have something to say yourself in response to what we said (you follow?), it’s why we have comments enabled on our blog, to allow discussion.

I like discussion. What I don’t like and what I absolutely won’t tolerate is someone acting like an asshole in response to something a blogger has written. First of all, you don’t know them. You can’t ever be clear on what motivates them or what circumstances have driven them to post what they post. Second of all, you don’t have to read their blog. Ever. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT. No one is forcing you. If you see something you don’t like, move along. IT’S SO SIMPLE. And thirdly, WHAT ARE YOU HOPING TO ACCOMPLISH BY BEING AN ASSHOLE???

Maybe you were hoping to get a reaction. Congratulations! Mission accomplished! This is my reaction to you being an asshole. It can be summed up by saying DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Let’s be kind to one another. Please.

– Mae

46 thoughts on “Don’t Be An Asshole

  1. I prefer folk to disagree with me. If they agree, I worry that I might be as stupid as they are! πŸ˜‰
    Good post.

  2. Amen!
    Didn’t get nasty comments on my blog itself, but got them offline relating to what I had written. We have to live with different opinions and that’s great, but, as you said, no one is forcing anyone to read what we write and being an ass isn’t helping anyone.

    • Thanks! For me, it all comes down to being kind. You can disagree with someone and still be kind, so we should totally do that!

  3. That guy probably drives around my area. It seems like the drivers around me are all assholes.

    Anyway, it’s always good to know that someone who spends all their time being Internet assholes do so because they have nothing else better to do.

    I’m going to go rock my little girl to sleep and take my dog out to pee, and I’m going to find more genuine satisfaction doing this than that guy will after writing a million douchey comments.

  4. Thanks for voicing what I’ve been feeling. Luckily, not too much has gone “wrong” on my blog, but there have been some unnecessary confrontations. If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all, right? Or if you do disagree, do it respectfully. Great post!

    • Thanks! Sorry you’ve had to deal with some assholes- here’s hoping they get the message and start treating other with some respect!

  5. Well said!! I’m new at this whole blogging thing and this is one of the things I worry about everytime I write a new post. I know I’ve made mistakes in my life, but writing things out helps me to think about things and deal with stuff I’ve done. I would never judge anyone, and I would appreciate the same courtesy. After all, we’re all human and we’ve all made mistakes or done things in our lives we’re not proud of. Cheers πŸ™‚

  6. You are damn right.
    Just be honest, be frank, if you have to, make your point, but donΒ΄t be an asshole.

  7. One of the many, many reasons I prefer the blogs to, say, Facebook. I often think they should change the name to Ass-book (except that’s open to many interpretations, and it’s way too easy to upload pictures…).

    Differences of opinion make the world go ’round, but I definitely agree, there are ways and there are ways, right? And I undertake more than my fair share of assholery (just ask my wife), so thanks for the reminder.:o)

    • Definitely.

      Also, we all have asshole moments from time to time, just apologize and buy your wife a nice dinner when it happens. That’s what I do when I’ve wandered into asshole territory with my husband. πŸ™‚

  8. Mae,
    This is actually our family motto : It never pays to be an asshole.
    I clean it up a little for the kids, but really, words to live by. So I just wanted to tell you that truer words were never written. Incidentally, I saw a comment posted on this very blog just days ago, and I was stunned by the pure assholery of its “writer.” I sat and tried to come up with an appropriate response, but each attempt made me look like a complete , well, you know. So thanks for saying it for me. Props to the Spinster for her GRACEful and restrained response, though.

    • I know! Grace is amazing, isn’t she?? I would have not handled it nearly so elegantly as she did.

      Also, best family motto ever, mind if I steal it when my husband and I start a family?

  9. This is actually my friends and my favourite saying! Whenever we’re complaining, it always comes down to “don’t be an asshole!” and “don’t be fake. It’s better to be a bitch but be real, than to be a bitch but act like you aren’t.” Great post! – DCBG

  10. Very appropriate post ! I see some awful shizz that some people leave as comments. To be fair, most of it is on Twitter but i cant believe how spiteful some are. Im a believer that comments say more about the person saying them than the person its directed at.

  11. Amen. πŸ™‚ sorry you’ve had to deal with obnoxious comments–always such a pain. You’re absolutely right, naysayers are welcome to seek out reading materials they agree with. Sheesh.

  12. Seriously though! It’s my biggest pet peeve about social media. “Don’t be an asshole” is a good life motto, and it should definitely apply, even on the internet!

  13. I totally agree. If you have a valid point that is contrary to an opinion, feel free to state it with intelligence. Yelling at someone & cutting them down just makes you look like an idiot… like a complete asshole.
    It goes the same for twitter… don’t like what someone is tweeting? Don’t hide behind your keyboard and say horrid and asshole-ish things to them. No one is forcing you to read or follow anything. Don’t be an asshole. Use social media for good! πŸ™‚

  14. Pingback: I was once scary, now I’m not…. mostly anyway. | girlbehindthescissors

  15. People will say anything when they are hiding behind a computer screen. Half the things people say online wouldn’t be said face to face. Love your blog.

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  17. Pingback: I was once scary, now I’m not…. mostly anyway. | Girlbehindthescissors

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