I Don’t Get Coachella Fashion

There. I said it. I don’t get Coachella fashion. At all.

I get that it’s California and it’s filled to the port-o-potties with celebrities who need to be SEEN, but the fashion choices just seem impractical for a music festival. I can say that because I am so stranger to music festivals, I go to ACL every year and it’s the best music festival in the world and yes I absolutely am biased on that so don’t even try to call me out on it.  And of course, I want to look nice because people take pictures and there are cameras and one year Christian Bale was literally standing like 10 feet away from Grace and I so, yeah, I get wanting to look good. But, it’s still an outdoor music festival.

Wearing all white?

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Uh- hello?? You sit on the grass. Or on a blanket on the grass. There is loads of grass. Am I the only one who lives in fear of the grass stain?

Wearing nothing but a bathing suit?

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I checked. Yes, the weather was warm during the day, but at night? Weren’t you cold? It seems like you would be cold. Also, bathing suits don’t breathe real well in the heat. Knock knock – it’s a yeast infection, motherfuckers.

Wearing jeans you clearly ripped apart yourself?

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Yeah. You’re not fooling anyone. Stop trying so hard to look like you’re not trying at all. You must be exhausted. Also, your boyfriend? Tell him to let the 60’s keep their things, he wasn’t at Woodstock, and everyone knows that.

Also, do you think all these people were wearing sunscreen and drinking enough water? I worry about that.

– Mae

17 thoughts on “I Don’t Get Coachella Fashion

  1. I was thinking the same thing, actually, and I can’t wait to see how Joan Rivers and Co. assess Coachella fashion on the next Fashion Police. I’m all in favor of looking good (although you wouldn’t know it by the flip flops I’m wearing as I type this and hide my feet under my desk at work), but the clothes that show up at places like Coachella totally bewilder me.

  2. Okay. What I wear to a music festival:
    *doc martens or army boots (well, my last pair of those wore out years back so I would have to make do with my Redback elastic-sided steelcapped work boots
    *Army pants (loads of cargo – style pockets to keep loads of crap in)
    *Comfortable underwear
    *a band teeshirt
    *a long sleeved, white teeshirt (yes, white, yes, grubby,yes grungy) to wear when it gets a bit cool but I don’t want to get sunburned
    *a hat or cap
    *a back pack containing: panadol, sunscreen, a garbage bag (yes, to poke holes into and turn into an impromptu raincoat of sorts), water, snacks, a pen and paper (to write down what bands I want to see when – but these days I guess it’s all on a mobile phone app), etc.

    * pretty white clothes
    *sandals or thongs
    *butterfly or bat wings
    *leg warmers
    *full length colourful stripey socks
    *a bikini
    *a band shirt from a band that I never even saw (helloooo how many 16 year olds have seen The Ramones of The Clash???!!!)

  3. hahaha :v I really wish I knew why some people were wearing what they were wearing over here, but alas, I guess they should probably make a rule to not allow ppl not dressed properly at all !

  4. Me either. Is it suppose to be some sort of take on Boho chic or simply boho? Also what is Boho Chic? Is that even possible? These fashion choices seemed to be made in the hopes of being captured and place on fashion websites for what is cool and in at the moment. But these people look like they just picked up the first item of clothing found and walked out the door.

  5. I can take a guess as to why she ripped her own jeans. It looks as if they were so tight and uncomfortable that she actually struggled with taking steps, and so to remedy the problem cut them strategically over the knee so her leg would bend.

  6. Haha! Great post. I find that there are very few people who can pull off retro fashions properly, while looking natural, current and stylish. Everyone else, to me, is really trying WAY too hard. I don’t think I could survive a day at Coachella. I’d have a red mark on my face from all the face-palming.

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