I’m A Baby Prepper

I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. Even when I wasn’t sure I wanted to get married, I knew I wanted to be a Mom. I’ve been a nanny, a kindergarten teacher, and go-to baby-whisperer for all my friends and family. But, for the first time in my life, becoming a Mom is actually a real-life possibility and not just a theoretical future. And that’s like BOOM in my brain.

Now, I feel like I’m not prepared enough, even though I’ve done loads of research (and continue to), even though I ask myself the hard questions, even though I had the best example of a Mom anyone could ask for, I feel UNPREPARED. Everyone keeps telling me “You can’t be *totally* prepared.” and even though I know that’s true, I still want to try, because, I’m a prepper y’all. I prep. You know that show “Doomsday Preppers”? I am those people. Granted, I’m worried less about the apocalypse and more about natural disasters, but either way, I’m prepped. I have the bags ready and filled with survival gear. For real.

So, I’m going to come at this Baby Prepping thing the same way I did my emergency/disaster/apocalypse prepping. I’m making a list.

Baby Prepping List

Get diet right and exercise more. I want this body in tip-top pushing a baby out of my vagina shape. Also, I want to get in the habit of better nutrition now, so it’s not such a challenge in a year or so.

RESEARCH. I need to keep researching pregnancy, birthing methods, pre-natal vitamins, pregnancy yoga, and everything else about babies and pregnancy EVER. Did you know babies can be born with a full set of TEETH? Teeth.

Find a good pediatrician. I’m all set on this one, unless my husband and I move away from Austin in which case ANARCHY AND CHAOS WILL ENSUE.

Create a birth plan A.

Create a birth plan B.

Create a birth plan C.

Create a birth plan in case labor begins during a natural disaster or apocalypse.

Create a budget for maternity clothes. Mama’s got to shop y’all.

Create a playlist for each pregnancy trimester, birthing, and each stage of child’s life.

Test husband’s reaction time by shouting “We need to go to the hospital!” at random moments and especially in the middle of the night.

I think if I do all these things and about a million others I already have listed in an excel spreadsheet (and print-out), then I will be like the ultimate baby prepper. So, I should be ready to have a kid in like….let me crunch some numbers…..ummmm…..100 years.

What about y’all? Did you baby prep?

– Mae

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24 thoughts on “I’m A Baby Prepper

  1. No baby prepping here. I lived on a tiny gulf island with 1000 people when I had my first. “Primitive” settings strip away all the baby marketing stuff and services pretty fast. Best way to do it, in my opinion. As you’ve probably heard many people say, the pregnancy is but a blip compared to the raising of the child. Enjoy the incubation for what it is. Believe it or not, it’s your down time!

  2. You can try to prep all you want, but nothing will prepare you for what it’s really like to have your baby. And once you look into your child’s eyes for the first time, it won’t matter. My pregnancy was an “oops” and I have been winging it ever since, but I think I am doing a pretty good job. And all those little details melt away once you become a mom. You learn quickly to go with the flow, and while being organized definitely helps, you learn to roll with the punches when things don’t go as planned. I am sure that you will be a great mother and you will feel ready whenever that happens, spreadsheets or not 🙂

    • Thank you so much for this awesome and encouraging comment! I’m definitely making spreadsheets but I hope I can be a go with the flow Mom, that’s the kind of Mom I had and she’s the best!

  3. I’m the exact same way. Hubs and I are thinking about having kids within the next couple years, and damned if I’m not researching up a storm. What To Expect Before You’re Expecting? Read it. Parenting blogs and columns? Bookmarked ’em. Bottom line? I can totally relate.

    Baby Spinster will be awesomely prepared for the unexpected, though, what with his/her mamacita having an “in case of natural disaster” go-bag filled with onesies and Gerber! 🙂

  4. I’m a long while off babies but the bit of preparation I’m worried about is whether, at the time, I’m actually prepared to give up my sleep and free time and money and all other things. Basically I think I’ll never be sure I actually want the child!

    • That’s definitely something to think about! As of now, I think I’m a bit too attached to my sleep and shopping money. Hopefully I’ll feel different in a couple years. 🙂

  5. An old Dad here. Our prep (in 1989) consisted of me reading lots of books, like What to Expect When You Are Expecting, reading baby name books and choosing names. We also did a lot of shopping for baby clothes & furniture.

    My wife is barely five feet tall. We clocked endless miles driving and walking through malls looking for petite maternity clothes. A lost cause. I guess fashion designers don’t expect short women to have babies.

    We also took a Lamaze class together. This was a total waste of time and probably counter-productive. Not because of the class, but because the nurse teaching the class admitted that she had never had a baby and couldn’t say what labor pains felt like. She lost 100% of her credibility with my wife. I’m convinced that my wife’s subconscious went on strike resulting in 30 hours of labor, dilating only 8 cm even after 12 hours of pitosin. Make sure that you get an “experienced” teacher.

    Even with all that, nothing prepared me for the experience of gazing into my munchkin’s grey-blue eyes. My wife was zonked out and the ObGyn completely forgot about us. I spent two hours alone with my daughter. I fell hopelessly and madly in love. I’ve never recovered.

    No matter what you do, you can never be prepared enough. Some things will never happen the way you expect. It is the unexpected things that take you by surprise. Those surprises will make all the difference and will be the memories that you treasure the most.

  6. I read articles and books for months about all possible birthing scenerios, and all pregnacy signs of trouble and woe. That’s basically all I did other than writing and exercising while pregnant. Lol. I never had a birth plan other than I only wanted my husband in the room with me during the whole event. It worked out INSANELY well NOT having a plan of any sort. I had an insanely fast labor and a super amazing doctor though… I think that helped a lot.

  7. I did a lot of prepping too, though back in 1982 that meant fewer things to read and check, but I did it all.

    My research fell apart the day she was born. My daughter cried hours every day for the first 3 months. She wasn’t colicky, she was just crying. All the research and reading and preparation didn’t help.

    But – and here’s the good part – that 3 months of crying was the greatest thing that could have happened. It taught me, early on, that I’m can’t control everything that my child does and is. It humbled me as a parent, and made me understand that my job wasn’t to tightly and rigidly shape everything in her life, but to help her grow and learn and to make good choices – not by standing in front of her and blocking things, but by standing next to her and guiding – and letting go. I was a much more relaxed parent, and never overprotective. So, read and prepare, but be ready – parenting is done without a net! It’s the most rewarding, exciting, exhausting, amazing thing you’ll ever do, but no one is ever fully prepared.

  8. I kind of love this post. I mean…I feel like I should tell you to chillax, but at the same time…I’ve watched preppers. I watch The Walking Dead…I worry about the future. Soooo…I can’t judge.

  9. I really think doing research could help a lot, especially with birth plans. When I had my first baby, I didn’t know anything more than what I briefly talked to my OB/midwife about. Then for my second baby, I kind of knew what was going on better.

    Also, a playlist for a baby being born during a natural disaster is an ace idea!! 🙂

  10. I’m sorry – I found it difficult to read this entire post as soon as I saw the words “Did you know babies can be born with a full set of TEETH?” I have a mental image I can’t get out of my head. I will have to revisit this post when the nightmares stop

  11. When I was pregnant with my little monster I was reading a lot – with the effect that I completely freaked out when something didn’t go as advertised (FYI, you can’t beat severe morning-noon-afternoon-evening-and-night sickness with chilled slices of cucumber). Every book and magazine and webpage told me to eat healthily for the benefit of the little gummy bear and I couldn’t even keep a gulp of water down! After I had calmed down to a gentle panic I decided, no more reading, no prepping, no obsessing. The rest of the way went relatively smoothly. Well, except for the actual delivery but I think I scared you enough for one comment 😉

    Good luck with the next phase of your life, I am sure you will find a way that’s just right for you and yours.

    • Thanks! My Mom keeps telling me not to read anything, but that’s just not my nature, I *have* to know whatever I can know about it. Also, great tip on the chilled cucumber slices, I’ll keep that in mind!

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