The Time For Equality Is Now

Today, Facebook is awash with red. A good portion of Americans, including myself, have replaced their profile pictures with red and pink equality symbols. This is because a historically good portion of Americans—53%!—unequivocally support same-sex marriage. That’s over half the nation who believes that love trumps “tradition.” That’s over half the nation who believes that marriage is a right, not a privilege. That’s roughly 167 million people who are hoping that the U.S. Supreme Court decides on the side of gay marriage. That’s a lot of love, kittens.

Of course, there is still the other 47%. This is a blog post for them.

559103_10103094451990284_2071591861_nHello there, my dears! My name is Grace and I’m your local spinster blogger. Normally, I blog about things like taxidermied mice and how hot men with beards are, but today I wanted to talk about something else entirely: you. You, I am given to believe, don’t think that my friends Anna and Shelly should get married. You, I am told, are narrow-minded and hateful and backwards. But that can’t be true! Didn’t you spend last summer building wells in Ecuador? And didn’t you nurse that sick stray kitten back to health? Surely, you’re not actively hating my friends.

In your defense, this morning I read up on why people oppose gay marriage. What I found, was odd. I’ve read article after article, but still can’t find a good argument against my friends. You’ll see what I mean.

Reason #1: Traditional Marriage is Between A Man & Woman. We Must Hold Up Tradition! Oh, interesting argument. How terribly Fiddler on the Roof of you! Marriage has been between a man and woman forever, so we should keep it up for the sake of tradition. Here’s the thing: tradition sucks. If we kept up with all our traditions, this world would be in a sad state. Women would have no rights, people would be kept as slaves, and the TV would be considered the devil’s instrument, so none of us could watch Buffy. Is that what  you want? You can’t be in favor of a world full of oppression and lacking Spike! For that matter, there are plenty of examples of homosexual marriage in history. So whose tradition are we going with, exactly?

Reason #2: Homosexual Marriage is Against God! Interesting. You’ve got me there. I fully believe in religious freedom, so how can I judge you for your beliefs? I can’t, but I do have a question. If marriage is a religious covenant between a couple and God, then why can atheists and deists and agnostics and pagans get married? If this is a Judeo-Christian God issue, then shouldn’t only Jews and Christians be able to get married? If people who don’t believe in any God at all can get married, then surely Anna and Shelly don’t need His approval for marriage either.

Reason #3: This is the Downfall of Morality! I am befuddled. Isn’t one of the basic tenants of morality settling down and getting married? If you hate the sexual revolution and think we’re sliding into Hell faster than Helena in a handbasket, then you should be pro-marriage, period. The more people getting married, the less people living lives full of single shenanigans. If you don’t let gay couples get married, then you can’t complain when they slough off all monogamy.

Reason #4: Children Need a Mother and a Father! First off, how many times must I tell you that just because you’re married, doesn’t mean you want children? Second, if we believe so hard that children need both parents, then we should probably take kids away from single moms and dads. It would be better for those kids to be raised by two strangers with complimentary genitalia, than with one parent who loves them. Children need both mothers and fathers, because as everyone knows, gender decides personality traits. Who will nurture a child with a bruised knee, if there’s no mother? Who will throw a football, in a fatherless home? New law: kids only go to two-parent heterosexual households! It just makes no sense.

Reason #5: Homosexuality Violates Natural Law! Heterosexuality propagates the species! Oh, this one is rooted in science. This is more like it! Except, quick question, don’t we violate a whole bunch of natural laws? Humans can’t fly, but we’ve gotten pretty good at this whole airplane thing. People are also supposed to be omnivores, but a lot of people I know are vegetarians, so they must be abominations too. And if we’re so hot-to-trot on species propagation, then we should probably test all couples’ fertility, before they get married. If you can’t have babies, you can’t get married! We will do a ten year check up to make sure that everyone is procreating successfully! Wait, that feels…wrong. We can’t take away people’s rights, just because they can’t have children.

Marriage is about love and commitment, not kids. People aren’t getting married only to have children or to satisfy God’s will. The vast majority of people in modern America get married because they love each other. People get married because they want the rights of a legal partner, in case their beloved gets ill or passes away. People get married, because they’ve found their other half. What business do we have saying that you’ve chosen the wrong half? Modern marriage is a personal union based on love and consent, not a moral or religious covenant.

The tide has turned and progress is coming. Don’t you want to be on the winning side of history? You have a right to your beliefs, but our country shouldn’t violate other people’s rights because of yours. I hate mayonnaise and think it’s an unholy white ooze, but America shouldn’t forbid tuna salad, because of my opposition. Let them eat mayo! Let them get married!

It’s time for equality, my dears. It’s time for love.

– Grace

19 thoughts on “The Time For Equality Is Now

  1. I noticed you stayed away from specific beliefs in reason #2, but you made a big case for love. Having attended Catholic school for 16 years, I am certain that the foundation of our God is indeed love.
    It’s time to apply it people! I like to think that God would surely want more caring, kind, and loving couples (of any gender, race, economic status) in this world. People who truly care, love, and make eachother and the world around them better because of that love!
    It is indeed time!

  2. Such a comprehensive and spectacular analysis. The future children of married and unmarried, gay and non-gay couples, single parents, will not know a world where being married to the person you love, no matter sexual-orientation, isn’t permissible and will look back on this time period and be like “whhhaaaa….?” I just wish that it would progress sooner, it would save a lot of heartache, emotional turmoil, and money raising funds both for and against this cause that could be otherwise spent on fun items, like ice cream and new shoes.

  3. unbelievably, I got into a facebook argument with a friend of a friend about this and he really did believe that people who didn’t intend to have children shouldn’t be allowed marriage. I asked him about people post-menopausal, infertile?
    Even, as an extreme example – a woman who had her womb removed due to cancer. His answer? “miracles happen. you must be open to the possibility of having children.”
    (I did also hear of a church refusing to marry a man with spinal injuries affecting his lower half on the basis that he couldn’t have children.)
    These people scare me.

  4. I wish there was a ‘love’ button for this post because there was so much I loved about it. I’m hoping if something happens in America, Australia will follow suit. Because unfortunately Australia cannot do anything without approval from Big Brother USA

  5. I find it hard to put in to words how I feel when I hear/read such well thought out, heartfelt support from you hetero folk! It feels kinda nice. Thank you. All 53% of you!

  6. Couldn’t have said this better myself! The topic has come up in even my own high school, and there’s nothing worse than having to see hordes of teenagers taking to twitter to ‘preach’ about how God hates homosexuality. *shakes head in disgust* I will most definitely be sharing this with others!

  7. I have to agree wholeheartedly, Spike is one scrumptious vampire. I might have watched all 5 seasons of Angel because of him.
    Oh, and the other stuff as well of course. How could anyone not agree?!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s