Ha! I totally tricked you with that title because I almost always embarrass my husband. Except he always tells me he isn’t embarrassed which is a real testament to his inability to embarrass and less about me not saying embarrassing things. Because I do. FREQUENTLY.
Anyway, here are things you should avoid if you don’t want to embarrass your husband. I’ve done every one of these things. You probably shouldn’t. And since I’m telling you that, I’m totally counting this as a public service. You’re welcome.
- Nickname his penis.
- Nickname his penis and then tell your closest friends about it.
- Ask him questions through the bathroom door at your parent’s house.
- Slap his ass at the grocery store.
- Tell everyone he has a hole in the crotch of his pants.
- Remark on his pooping capacity over dinner with friends.
- Tell a story about tampons and TSS over dinner with friends.
I know, it’s kind of crazy someone wanted to marry me, right? Although, I think the moral of this story is, I shouldn’t be allowed to have more than one hard cider ever. EVER.