And That’s The Moment I Realized I Might Be Crazy

Wonder Woman

My fiance and I were touring a potential venue for our wedding and were discussing the menu with the event coordinator. I mentioned how much we both loved food and how important it is to both of us to have obscenely good food at our wedding and this was her response “Yikes, that must be hell on your wedding diet.”

Ummm….why are you assuming I’m on a wedding diet? Do I look too fat to get married to you? How dare you assume I’m on a wedding diet!

And that’s the moment I realized I might be crazy because I *am* on a wedding diet.

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What’s The Appropriate Response To This?

Miss Manners

I feel like she didn’t cover this one….

I am the girl you want to have around in any kind of social situation. I’m an expert at navigating social minefields, I have impecable manners, and I am a pro at witty banter. Seriously, when it comes to any sort of social situation, I’m your girl.

Having said that, I found myself in the strangest social predicament of my life a few weeks ago. It was such a clusterfuck of awkwardness that even I, the queen of social navigation, was left speechless and absolutely clueless as to how to repsond.

I was attending a wedding with my grade-A stud-muffin of a boyfriend and we were at the reception completely dominating the dance floor with our signature move (it’s called the underwater robot) and all around having a merry time. The booze was free flowing and everyone seemed to be having a lovely time. Everyone except one of the bridesmaids who I noticed had made very good use of the open bar and was now crying her eyes out. You know, typical wedding stuff. As we were leaving we said goodbye to the crying bridesmaid (who went to high school with my boyfriend) and then I had this conversation…

Me: It was so nice to meet you! Have a wonderful rest of the night!

Crying bridesmaid: Do you love him? (gesturing to my boyfriend)

Me: I do. Very much so.

Crying Bridesmaid: You should! (As she begins to sob) He’s the most amazing guy…he’s such a good guy…..I should know……he’s…….so…..

Me: Ummmm………I know. He really is amazing. Thanks? Umm….bye…….

So, I’m thinking that crying bridesmaid was declaring her unrequited love for my boyfriend. Which leads to the question, what’s the appropriate response to this?