The Pressure Of Attending A Wedding.

I love going to weddings, really I do. I think they are alternately sweet, hilarious, awkward, bizarre, sentimental, depressing, weird, and precious. And sometimes all of those things at once. It’s kind of hard to identify your exact feelings. Especially when the person getting married is someone you’ve known for a long time, maybe all your life. It’s such a weird feeling to see someone you’ve know for so long make this huge commitment and bond themselves to another person, presumably for life. It’s just sort of….weird.

But, you know what’s even weirder? Β Being at the wedding of someone you’ve never met before. And also you’re meeting everyone there for the first time and they are judging you because you’re their good friends girlfriend and so you have to be gorgeous and have a sparkling personality and all of your jokes have to be wedding appropriate and OH MY DAMN, NONE OF MY JOKES ARE WEDDING APPROPRIATE!!!

I may be freaking out a little bit because I’m going to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. And not in a hilarious Wedding Crashers type of way. And when I say I’m Β freaking out, I mean compulsively shopping for the right outfit and trying to prepare witty yet wedding appropriate banter ahead of time, and dreading the inevitable outcome, which is lots of drinking to calm my nerves except it only leads to inappropriate jokes and pelvic thrusting someone’s grandfather on the dance floor.

Remember when I said I loved weddings? Me neither.

Any tips? Besides drinking copiously because I’ve got that one covered.

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13 thoughts on “The Pressure Of Attending A Wedding.

  1. Smile and keep your mouth shut! πŸ˜‰

    I have been in your place before. It’s nerve wracking! I met all my (now) husband’s closest friends for the first time at a wedding. You feel like it’s so important to make a good impression that it puts a lot of pressure on! I knew I had to be the most beautiful, smartest, funniest and well-behaved woman there. Otherwise, the friends would feel sorry for my hubby for the dud of a girlfriend he got stuck with and I’d have to spend the rest of my time with him trying to win over his friends after a bad first meeting. Horrors! Rather, you want to fit in right away and be so clever and cute that everyone celebrates the good fortune of their friend to land such a great gal!

    Adding to the pressure was the fact that in his 30+ years, I was his first real girlfriend! In all the time these people knew him, he’d never dated anyone except for the prom or a lunch date here and there. So I felt like I had to be Angelina Freakin’ Jole or something. And I am soooo not!

    You’re right about finding the right outfit. It gives you a lot of confidence. But my best advice to you is ask people open ended questions. It’s great for several reasons: 1) People love to talk about themselves 2) you don’t have to carry the conversation and 3) you will come off very kind since you were more interested in them than yourself.

    And go easy on the drinks. πŸ˜‰ Good luck!

    • Excellent advice and much appreciated! It’s nice to know somebody else has been there! I’ll go easy on the drinks, I promise. πŸ™‚

      • Entirely agree on the “asking questions” thing. Unfortunately, I constantly feel like an intruder when I ask questions and wish I was more like my mom who’ll conjure a truck load of questions out of nowhere. It still is a safe bet to bring up things like the next and last vacation, the buffet, which usually leads to food allergies and “have you ever tried this and that restaurant” chat and so on.
        You’ll be fine.

  2. Oh man, I totally just did that. Sort of. The bride was an acquaintance from college who was better friends with some of my close friends, so I went as one of said friends’ plus one. Outside my itty bitty group I didn’t really know anyone, and it was a small wedding so the potentiality for awkwardness to be night-ruining was high. I also obsessed about my outfit because it was an evening wedding, so I debated over how formal to go and what color to wear. I didn’t want to wear black because it doesn’t seem right at a wedding, but all my cocktail dresses are black except my old bridesmaid’s dress, but I didn’t want to wear that because I didn’t want to run the risk of matching HER bridesmaids. Ugh, what a mess.

    BUT everything worked out. I looked hot (in a black dress, not the one I ended up buying for the wedding), felt great and gave exactly zero shits about what all these people whom I would probably never meet again thought of me. Let go of the idea that you can (or should even) please or entertain everyone and just be yourself. The nice thing about weddings is that the guests are usually a nice balance of personality types. There are some people who will be happy to answer all your questions, but if you end up talking more then there will also be people who are grateful that you’re carrying the conversation.

    So in a nutshell: smile, don’t over-analyze, and stay away from the open bar. πŸ˜€

    • This is all very good advice, unfortunately, over-analyzing is sort of my thing. I’m like a pro over-analyzer. However, I’ll try my best to relax and not embarrass myself on the dance floor. πŸ˜‰

  3. Well whenever this happens to me even if I know the people gettng married I dress stuning but I head straight to the refreshment table. It is a given that wedding food is much better then most of any other event foods. Eating food is actually an advantage. If you eat food you can carefully chew while thinkng of something acceptable to say at the time; also most of the time when people talk to you while your eating they just want to hear themselves talk so the most apropriate thing to do is nod your head if you don’t want to argue with them. i am a very out spoken person with wild ideas and opinions so you see why i head to the refreshment table.

  4. Just be pleasant and polite and yourself! Make casual chit chat. Don’t do what I do and randomly over share!

    Imagine going to an Indian wedding, while being “Indian” yourself but not really. So there I am not wearing a sari, sticking out like a sore thumb and getting disapproving looks from all the old biddies. Being an Indian wedding, I knew none of the people there save for my brother and an aunt.

  5. You know what’s the big advantage modern weddings have over weddings from 10 years ago? Smart phones! Drink the booze, and Doodle-jump yourself silly until it’s time for everyone to go home.

  6. I’m finally at the age where everyone I know is starting to get married so its just one awkward train wreck after another. Last year I went to my cousin’s wedding in Dallas and discovered I had food poisoning as soon as I got off the plane. I live in New Orleans so my whole family assumes I’m a godless alcoholic and was just horribly hung over. They made me sit in the front row.

    At the past three weddings I’ve been to too many girls were wearing all white and none of them had anything to do with the wedding party. Is that a thing now? And if it isn’t white they’re wearing about half a yard of fabric with sequins.

    Drink and liveblog your way through it, I say!

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