St. Valentine’s Day Haters Be Gone With Ye!

Spinster friends, I will never understand the St. Valentine’s Day cynics.  Haters might say:

A.  It’s a holiday invented by the greeting card companies.

B.  It’s all about the commercialization.

C.  It’s designed to make the single people feel like losers.

D.  All of the above.

I just see someone who views the glass as half empty of its unfiltered tap water.  Oh sure, I know the other argument as well.  Expressing our love and appreciation of one another shouldn’t be limited to just one holiday.  Uh yah, I think we’d all agree on that one, but it’s way more fun to have an excuse to do it with pink and red and chocolates and flowers.

Perhaps I should put this love of the holiday in context for you.  I was the girl who got 1st place in the contest for best St. Valentine’s mailbox every year.  And alright, it was a contest that existed solely in my imagination but dangit, I won.  Nincompoop Nick and his shark mailbox (no doubt assembled by his mother whilst he secretly watched Power Rangers & Barney with his little brother) was no match for me and my television mailbox.  It was so creative – one dropped the Valentines in and they’d change the “show” on the screen to your Valentine.  I know.  Brilliance.  In high school I went all Martha Stewart and hand-colored paper doilies onto which I pasted hearts lovingly cut out of construction paper and lined with lace.  A few years ago I delivered little St. Valentine’s baskets to my friends.  I was like the St. Valentine’s Bunny!

So the cynicism makes no sense to me.  I’m a firm believer that attitude is everything.  Instead of this pessimistic outlook that seems to cast its gloomy shadow over the day, why can’t we all just hold hands and sing the “I Love You” song?  (I had that stuck in my head all day on Friday.  Others need to suffer with me.  You’re welcome.)  Furthermore, this is a holiday wherein you can eat an entire box of Godiva chocolates in one sitting without having to explain yourself to anyone!

Come, be happy with me, wear your pink and red, and:

  • Carry Benadryl to prepare for possibility of being surprised with flowers at work.
  • Practice your “that smells soooo good” and “this is delicious” exclamations so they come across as more authentic when your schnookums burns the dinner he decided to cook for you.  (True story.  Except schnookums was really my jerkface ex-boyfriend who also decided to write and sing a song to me – probably only to hear his own voice.  I cringed through the entire thing.)
  • Arm yourself with the facts of why chocolate is good for you so you can feel better about breaking your diet.
  • Make sure you buy those color-catcher washer sheet thingies so your pinks and reds don’t bleed when you get to your laundry next Friday.
  • Stock up on your stash of old school Valentines because admit it, it’s fun to get them and you could totally brighten someone’s day if you left one on their desk.

– Kate

P.S.  That awesome card above can be found here, on one of the best greeting card sites ever, Archelaus.

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21 thoughts on “St. Valentine’s Day Haters Be Gone With Ye!

      • Aww, you guys are killing me! We get pink and red and sparkly things and chocolate and flowers! And hell, even if someone isn’t buying it for me you can bet I’m getting my own box of Whitman’s chocolates!

  1. It’s totally worth it, if only for the chocolate. And I agree, we should all just get on board, stop resisting the opportunity to show someone else they’re special, and spread the love.

  2. I love it! I’m that person that sends Valentines to all of her girlfriends because they mean more to me than boys anyway. We make it fun, and that’s what a holiday is all about!

    • The St. Valentine’s Days I’ve spent with boys have always been way worse than the ones I celebrate with friends! I love that you give Valentines to your gfs!

  3. EEP!! I just got all excited and squealy about all those lovely Valentine’s things you imagined and/or made. ;D

    I love all the holidays. Especially since starting work. All of the employees at the bakery are very festive and cheerful. Of course it makes it easier to enjoy a holiday when you’re surrounded by hilarious and wonderful people who want to celebrate it with you. But I loved Valentine’s Day before that! And yes, I’m a spinster–always have been. (I’ll refrain from saying mournfully, “Probably always will be.” :P)

    I think conversation hearts are gross, but that didn’t stop me from eating twenty last night. My little siblings and I kept trading them. “This is yours! It says, ‘T…t…tooo… too hot!'” (Adorable!!) And I don’t need a sweetheart in order to sing “Wild Thing” louder than the dancing bears in the drugstore. Which just goes to prove you correct. It’s all about the attitude, and mine is all hearts and lace and old lady sweaters. No, really. I love old lady sweaters. 😛

    • No mourning of the spinster status! We must always celebrate. 🙂 And I bet my old lady sweaters could totally beat your old lady sweaters. 😉

      Also, what is Valentine’s Day without a little tummy ache from all the crappy stuff we had to eat?? Tho, admittedly, it’s been awhile since I’ve been to the store so I haven’t even laid eyes on a box of conversation hearts. It feels so wrong.

  4. My friend runs a pub and he says that his weekend business has to be really successful because he hardly sells anything the rest of the week.

    I wonder if that’s the same case with florists and their $300 bouquets of roses on Valentine’s Day?

    • Supply and demand! Or, florist price fixing! Too bad it’s not more acceptable to go to Home Depot and buy a hanging plant for $6, stick a bow on it, and call it a day. This is why I make crafty Valentines – waaaaay more affordable than getting flowers for all my friends.

  5. I’m not a hater, more a pouty avoider. I’m about to hit my 30th without ever having a valentine.

    Haven’t been single my whole life or anything that tragic, and we both know I have a dirty enough mind to find myself an evening of entertainment – I’ve just never a card and chocolate toting boyfriend or even romantic dinner companion on that specific calendar date.

    Maybe its the Leo in me that just goes dormant in the cold months of winter? (though that theory would be shattered this year seeing as though I’m in Oz!)

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