I have discovered something new dear readers, something that I think will rock the world of science. Or, you know, make someone somewhere go “Huh.”. I have found a way to repel my people, specifically my friends-acquaintances, without being mean, hateful, offensive, unhygienic, or talking in a baby voice. It’s called “being in love”. Go figure.
Yes, it’s true. Since falling in love I have had one of three reactions from my friendquaintances, which is a term I coined because just calling them acquaintances seemed cold but calling them friends seemed greatly exaggerated, hence the friendquaintance.
1. Oh! How nice. Good for you! (Then I don’t hear from them again)
2. Gross. Get out of here with all that love talk. (Then I don’t hear from them again)
3. Yay! I’m so excited for you! I need to meet him! (Then I don’t hear from them again)
It would seem that all of my friendquaintances have a severe aversion to being around any one in love. I really can’t imagine why. I’m not one to gush (except to Kate and Grace and they kind of have to love me) so I know it’s not because I’ve gone overboard on the lovey-dovey talk. And many of them are in relationships so it’s not a love-envy thing. It’s like I just mention I’m happy and in love and all the friendquaintances go running for the hills as if I’ve just told them I’m infected with zombie-virus and if they ever talk to me again they too will contract zombie-virus. How very odd it is. I never would have guessed that being in love was friendquaintance repellent, but then again, penicillin was an accidental discovery too.
The only other explanation I can think of is they were all murdered by a serial killer who is eventually working his/her way up to me. Of course this explanation seems far-fetched at best, but you have to admit, might make a great episode of Criminal Minds.
What about you foxy readers? Did your friendquaintances disappear when you fell in love?