I am a blogger. And not only that, but I’m a blogger who blogs without censor about my life. So, if you’re a part of my life, i.e. my boyfriend, you’re probably going to get blogged about. So it goes.
When I was single, I joked about how this was going to play out if I ever got into a relationship. You know, directing the boyfriend to a particular blog post about how I didn’t appreciate his snide remark the night before, or writing posts about the size of his penis, or even using my blog as a vehicle to break-up with him, thereby creating the most awkward and ridiculous break-up ever by inviting all my blog followers to comment on the relationship. However, once I got into a relationship (and a pretty spectacular one at that) all I wanted to do was protect him from my blogging. Me, who was so dedicated to the idea of not holding anything back in my blog, was holding something very big (seriously big y’all, he’s 6’4) and very important back. And not only was I holding him back from my blogging, I was holding my blogging back from him- I refused to let him read my blogs for quite some time. Why? Because my blogging is a whole lot of crazy y’all. A whole lot of over-sharing, awkwardness, muppets, and tampons. And I’ve always been quite proud of that to be honest, and still am, but I was afraid it might be a bit overwhelming for my new (and uber-dreamy) beau.
But I knew that the “each of you in your corners” approach couldn’t last forever. So I fretted about how to handle this blogging/relationship situation. My dilemma was trying to figure out how to make two major parts of my life come together in harmony. Seriously, I stressed and angsted over this for weeks. And of course, like so many things I angst over, the solution came about so simply and naturally that it became incredibly apparent to me that I had angsted for naught. I mentioned, casually, to my boyfriend that if he wanted to he could totally read my blog. He didn’t have to, if he didn’t that would be fine, but you know, if he ever got curious, it would probably be ok. And he did. And he laughed. And he started offering me some killer suggestions for future blog posts. It was as simple and lovely as that.
Also, it helped that I set up some ground rules for myself.
1. No passive agressive blogging. I will not use my blog as a vehicle to complain or chide him.
2. No embarrassing. The only person who deserves to be humiliated by my blog is me.
3. Under no circumstances am I to use my blog to avoid having difficult conversations with him. I have to woman-up and face it if ever the need for a difficult conversation arises. No “blogging out” so to speak.
There you have it folks. That’s how one uncensored and often profane spinster blogger figured out how to be in a relationship and blog at the same time. It probably shouldn’t have taken me so many hours of angst to arrive there but I got there in the end and that’s (probably) what matters.