I had other plans for this post but I’m hijacking my own slot to write about the awkwardness that just happened. It was online date #4 (as in with the 4th person, not 4th date ever). Anywho. We were meeting for drinks and I got to the bar a little early. The date called to say he was running a few minutes late so I attempted to busy myself with my phone while standing in the parking lot. Until I noticed a dude sitting outside. But not just any dude, one of the two dudes that drove me to finish my online dating profile during my boy-induced rage!
Now is as good a time as any to tell you the reason things didn’t work out between us had to do with the fact that he thought things were moving too fast. I brought him out to friend’s birthday dinner and somehow that was just too darn quick for him. Even if it was after a solid month we’d been dating. And there were 16 people there so it wasn’t some intimate gathering. But then you know how those things are. If I brought him to a birthday party after just a month then obviously I had marriage on the mind. From that night on he turned into a giant flake who couldn’t make up his mind about anything. He continued to keep up with texting (no, he never did call and yes, that should have been an earlier sign) and he made one, “we should catch up tomorrow” comment after another. I always thought he meant it, then he never followed through. I’m honestly a little bit embarrassed that I wasted so much time and emotional energy trying to figure out our situation when it was painfully obvious that he was just not interested. It was about Nov. 7th when I finally got really angry about the whole situation. That’s the night I finished my profile.
So back to last night. Of all the effing people at a bar that I never go to, it was almost too perfect. You guys, I looked hot. My legs went on for days, my waist was tiny and nipped in, and my newly highlighted hair was shiny and perfect. I could have walked into the bar without sparing him a second glance but there was no way in hell I was going to waste the opportunity to show him what he was missing. I walked back to my car to grab “something I forgot.” Then my phone became incredibly interesting and it was very important that I stop, pose with my long leg placed just so, and send a text. It was followed closely by the requisite hand-through-hair-followed-by-sexy-hair-toss move. And oh, he noticed.
Then, then! I happened to find an open table and what group should be sitting next to me? Oh yah. I was sparking and lovely, introducing myself to everyone and generally making a great impression. Our mutual friend asked if they should leave after he found out I was there on a date. Oh no. No, no, no. Please stay! See me on my hot date!
And alright, this is where the story kind of falls. I ended up sitting with my back to that table so I wasn’t distracted by anyone and the night sort of went on. The table vacated at some point but I didn’t notice because I was caught up in conversation with my date. And gawd, it was a good date. He was intelligent and intriguing and I was happy for the date to go on, and on, and on… It was the perfect of example of my initial desire to do the online dating thing. He was more interesting, cuter, was engaging, and completely distracted me from the earlier events of the night. I’ll spare you the nitty gritty details but he was a fantastic kisser.
I guess that’s the best revenge.