Ladies, I am on a quest. My quest is one I think you are all familiar with, although, that makes it no less treacherous or difficult. Ok, treacherous may have been a tad hyperbolic. But, it has been difficult. Since the age of 13, I have been on a quest for the perfect lip balm. Let me define what I mean by “perfect,” because I’m well aware that our definitions may vary based on our individual lip needs.
1. Must provide long-lasting moisture.
2. Must make my lips look soft and kissable.
3. Must have a light sheen, not glossy exactly, more like glossy-adjacent.
4. Must not be sticky.
5. Must not dry my lips out. (This seems obvious but trust me, it’s been a problem with more than one lip balm I’ve tried)
Five requirement for perfect lip balm. Only five. It seems like my quest should have ended ages ago, yet here I am, still questing. I have tried every type of lip balm imaginable. I’ve tried the natural, the “intensely moisturizing”, the oil based, the fruit based, the exfoliating, and the lip swelling (bad reaction). Seriously, y’all, I’ve tried it all. I’ve paid $30 for one tube of lip balm. One tube. I don’t know about you guys, but when I pay $30 dollars for lip balm, I expect that shit to work like a charm. I expect it to make my boyfriend go wild with wanting to kiss me. I expect it to pay my credit card bill. Unfortunately, it couldn’t even keep my lips hydrated till morning. Yep, that’s correct, I put it on before bed and woke up with Sahara desert lips. Why was I chosen for this Zeus-forsaken quest??! Why haven’t I found my perfect lip balm match yet? Where is it? What is it? Does it cost $30?? I need answers Universe and I need them now!
Seriously, my lips are pretty dry. I could use those answers.
Any suggestions my blogging amigas? What type of lip balm do you use? And does it pay your credit card bill?