The Meet The Parents Clock Is Ticking

Ticking Clock

As a young women in her mid-twenties, I have a lot of clocks to keep track of. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on the ever ticking uterus clock known as the “biological clock”, a term which has always baffled me. I mean, Men are biological creatures too, why should Women be the only ones with a biological clock? I much prefer the term “ticking uterus” it’s so much more specific. Unfortunately, I can’t give proper focus to my ticking uterus, because the marriage clock hasn’t struck midnight yet. (Or whatever time these clocks chime and tell you you’re allowed to marry/procreate/die). And I can’t really focus on the marriage clock, because the meet the parents clock has yet to chime. And that’s where I am right now. Watching the meet the parents clock, hoping it will give me some clue as to the proper timing of that event. (Because according to my Mom, it should have chimed already….)

And sure, I know meeting the parents isn’t necessary or even all that important to a lot of people, but it is to me. I’m incredibly close with my family and it’s important to me that they get to know my boyfriend and even more important that they like him. Having said that, I’m not sure what the right timing is around the whole meet the parents thing. When is too soon? When is too late? What’s the sweet spot for meeting the parents?

I took an informal poll of my friends and, to my dismay, they all had very different answers. Way to be individuals, ladies! Some said 6 months or later, some said as soon as you’ve had the “Are we exclusive?” talk, otherwise known as the dreaded DTR, others said “At the wedding.” so……there definitely seemed to be a lack on consensus on the matter. What makes it worse is that they all had valid points to back up their opinions.

Those that said 6 months validated their opinion by saying you would be more secure in your relationship 6 months in, and that you would have a much better feel for how the meeting would play out. This made a lot of sense to me.

Then, I talked to some friends who said it made more sense  for your significant other to meet your parents as soon as you have the “Are we exclusive?” talk, because it’s the sweet spot between committed and very committed. Their point was that you want your significant other to meet your parents before you get too attached. What if they don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like them? How will that effect your relationship? Basically, what they’re saying is that if your parents not liking your significant other might be a deal-breaker, you want to find that out before you’re so attached to them that breaking up is excruciating versus just painful. That made a lot of sense to me too.

Then I spoke to  my friends who were of the “At the wedding.” argument and they made a really good case for their position as well. What it boils down to is avoidance of drama. Again, it made a lot of sense to me.

After all of that, I was back where I started, which was the place of utter befuddlement. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a wonderful family, the question is, when is the right time for them to wonderfully meet? Seriously y’all, because my Mom wants to know.

– Mae

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9 thoughts on “The Meet The Parents Clock Is Ticking

  1. When’s the right time? Christmas. When everyone and their neurosis shows up and he can get to know the “real” family. Like ripping of a band-aid. It only hurts at first then everyone gets drunk and eats so much turkey they fall asleep. Dilemma solved. 😉

    • Totally agree. Some big event where everyone is there and some alcohol is involved, just get it done and over with, the here is my mom, dad, brother. Sister, twelve cousins and six aunts – or something like that.

      My boyfriend met my parents twice, the first time shortly after we became “exclusive” which went horribly, causing well three plus years of no interaction with my parents. Cue the big life event and celebration – I was graduating and my whole family, grandma, aunts, uncles, sibling and remarried parents would be there. That time, well that time went much better & he even brought his parents too…

      Good luck, it was a long wait watching the clock and hoping it would strike again. Then again, I did just give an ultimatum leaving him with nearly no choice, ha.

  2. Ahhhhh long long time ago, I met his parents…. I think it was the day of our second date. He met mine 48 hours later. I naver gave much importance to the “meeting his parents” event, and it really came out naturally. Now, my parents meeting his parents… THAT is a completely different story and it gave me great stress. (It took place after we had dated for 3 years and we were about to move in together). Our parents still get together 2o3 times a year (for birthdays & stuff) but I try to avoid it if I can (it’s been 5 years since we moved in). It’s not a complete desaster, but it’s not a great pleasure for me either.

    I love your blog!! I’m glad I found it.

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