As a young women in her mid-twenties, I have a lot of clocks to keep track of. I’m supposed to be keeping an eye on the ever ticking uterus clock known as the “biological clock”, a term which has always baffled me. I mean, Men are biological creatures too, why should Women be the only ones with a biological clock? I much prefer the term “ticking uterus” it’s so much more specific. Unfortunately, I can’t give proper focus to my ticking uterus, because the marriage clock hasn’t struck midnight yet. (Or whatever time these clocks chime and tell you you’re allowed to marry/procreate/die). And I can’t really focus on the marriage clock, because the meet the parents clock has yet to chime. And that’s where I am right now. Watching the meet the parents clock, hoping it will give me some clue as to the proper timing of that event. (Because according to my Mom, it should have chimed already….)
And sure, I know meeting the parents isn’t necessary or even all that important to a lot of people, but it is to me. I’m incredibly close with my family and it’s important to me that they get to know my boyfriend and even more important that they like him. Having said that, I’m not sure what the right timing is around the whole meet the parents thing. When is too soon? When is too late? What’s the sweet spot for meeting the parents?
I took an informal poll of my friends and, to my dismay, they all had very different answers. Way to be individuals, ladies! Some said 6 months or later, some said as soon as you’ve had the “Are we exclusive?” talk, otherwise known as the dreaded DTR, others said “At the wedding.” so……there definitely seemed to be a lack on consensus on the matter. What makes it worse is that they all had valid points to back up their opinions.
Those that said 6 months validated their opinion by saying you would be more secure in your relationship 6 months in, and that you would have a much better feel for how the meeting would play out. This made a lot of sense to me.
Then, I talked to some friends who said it made more sense for your significant other to meet your parents as soon as you have the “Are we exclusive?” talk, because it’s the sweet spot between committed and very committed. Their point was that you want your significant other to meet your parents before you get too attached. What if they don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like them? How will that effect your relationship? Basically, what they’re saying is that if your parents not liking your significant other might be a deal-breaker, you want to find that out before you’re so attached to them that breaking up is excruciating versus just painful. That made a lot of sense to me too.
Then I spoke to my friends who were of the “At the wedding.” argument and they made a really good case for their position as well. What it boils down to is avoidance of drama. Again, it made a lot of sense to me.
After all of that, I was back where I started, which was the place of utter befuddlement. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a wonderful family, the question is, when is the right time for them to wonderfully meet? Seriously y’all, because my Mom wants to know.